Thoughts – Page 2 – Colour Me Woman

Happy & New – The Year 2016

January 4, 2016January 4, 2016 by Anupa

Happy New Year!

It’s the 4th of January (3rd still if you are anywhere West of the UK).

How are you faring with your ‘New Year Resolutions’?

Did they start on the 1st of January? Or are you waiting – like me – for Monday – the first day of the week? 🙂

I ask these questions as I can not remember the last time I have made a NY Resolution but am always curious as to know how people who do make them see them through.

I was at a fantastic NY Eve party this year hosted by good friends at their home. It was just the way I remember NYE parties back in LA – plain good fun with plain good people! The best way to end a year and start another. So during the typical ‘what’s your new year’s resolution’ conversations I asked someone… when is it a new year for you? Your birthday or the new calendar year?’

For me it’s usually my birthday when I am turning a year older, when I am embarking on a NEW year and number. That’s when I get pensive or enthusiastic and think of ‘who/how I am going to be’ in that new year/age.

I asked a group of my good friends today to send me their list of New Year ‘News’ that they wanted to accomplish to give me some inspiration. I got a great response from one of them… ‘What are you looking forward to saying goodbye to in 2016?’. Brilliant answer Simi! My answer – BS. Primarily mine and then blocking out all the noise around me!

We all carry some kind of emotional or mental baggage. Road blocks or barriers in many cases. I sure have my own set of them. However, without giving it much thought and without contemplating on resolutions, when I look back at the last few days of 2015 and the first couple of days of 2016, I feel like I have naturally shed some of my BS just by being around the right set of people and listening to their own dialogues of being their ‘better self’. Listening to my peers on how they make their choices and admiring them for their courage and focus on managing in a positive way their own ‘full plates’.

So then it’s just obvious how I want this year to flow for me – and yes I dare to write it publicly as I mentioned in a previous post – there is a power to writing your desires and goals – they do manifest – somewhere, sometime.

Surround myself with the people I admire (admiration has so many levels especially for us women). Engage in more dialogue with them. Imbibe the qualities I admire. Learn from them by listening to them.
Open my horizons to learning new ideas, concepts, skills. I realise now that this does not have to happen in separate ‘me’ time. This process can transpire simultaneously while engaging in my duties and roles in life. There is room to grow and learn just there without looking afar.

Baby steps. As I still have my birthday new year to look forward to when I can look back and see how far I’ve come and what do I need to tweak for the new year to come.

I would love to hear your new thoughts for yourself this new year. Please share. Sharing and dialogue is key to a healthy mind and healthy relationships!

Wishing you a brilliant and beautiful 2016 with our without resolutions. If you have them… then I wish you consistency and focus!

The power of writing your intentions

November 17, 2015November 23, 2015 by Anupa

On August 19th, 2006 I was in California visiting my family. On that particular day I was in Hanford, California visiting my brother and his family and my besties from LA drove up (3.5 hours) to surprise me. It was my 21st (NOT!) birthday! I was clearly surprised that the 3 of them – Roma, Sumita & Anita would leave their families and businesses to come all that way to surprise me and spend a good 24 hours with all of us. I stayed that night with them at the Comfort Inn where I made a diary entry of all the things I wanted to do that year and other things I aspired for. I forgot about this, never made another entry in this diary and buried it in a drawer. While Diwali cleaning this year, I dug out my pretty velvet book and read through it and I found this:

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‘I’d like to write a couple of books. My inspiration – mum, my family & friends, my life, women, the Indian culture.’

Some of the things I am so passionate about that I wanted to write about them.

On that day, in 2006, I had also written that I wanted to have a baby, that I wanted to spend more time at the gym, and I wanted to surround myself with real quality people. In 2012 I had 2 babies, not 1. I am at the gym 2-3 times a week (yes I know it doesn’t look like it!), and I am so blessed to have only the best people around me.

In 2014 I started this blog. Writing about my mum, my friends, my life with my kids, women that inspire me.

I had read so many books and heard so many new age philosophers talk about the power of writing your intentions. Write in chits of paper, fold them up and put it in the jar. Write your aspirations. Write positive thoughts. Write. I had no idea it would actually happen. When I look back now, every time I open different note books, diaries, etc. and I find an aspiration or dream of mine that I had written and when I take stock… I see that I can check many of them off.

In 2014, forgetting I had written a desire about writing in my diary, it manifested itself in another form. Not a book, but a blog where I can share my short or long thoughts. Where I can share my people.

It made me understand that :

If you want something, write it down and want it from your heart. Now let the universe do it’s magic.
There is no immediate gratification. You need patience.
You need to want the same thing consistently. In 2011 I tried to set up a vlog (video b/log) of the people I wanted to feature but got absorbed in my twin pregnancy. Again, it was a thought on the same path.
That thought, that wish will manifest itself at the ‘right’ time. I strongly believe that there IS a ‘right’ time for everything.

Some thoughts to leave you with…

Stay blessed… stay beautiful my friends….

The End of An Era – Sari Boutique/Cottage Art

October 29, 2015October 29, 2015 by Anupa

The End of An Era…at Mum’s Mecca…
In June of 1984, Manu & Jyoti Nagrani (Mum & Dad) opened the very first Desi designer boutique on Pioneer Blvd., Artesia (Little India), California called Sari Boutique.
Sari Boutique was opened 2 months after mum and dad migrated to America and boy was it opened with panache & grandeur. Dad built a fine boutique with the help of a decorator (Dusyant) from London and my brothers (Banu & Jack), all hands on. Jack just sent me a message saying, ‘amazing learning experience for Dusyant and I, creating and building the interior display canopies (21 of them) and the warehouse storage……life experience that cannot be taught :-)’. Mum picked & created the finest of silks and fashions and displayed them in unique ways which were so different at the time for a Desi textiles shop. The then Mayor of Artesia was invited to cut the ribbon and all the known Desi (mainly Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi) personalities and families graced the occasion.
Through the years, mum and dad fondly came to be known as ‘Aunty’ & ‘Uncle’ on the ‘Street’ by staff, clients and fellow business owners. ‘Aunty’ started to collect many titles by her clients and by the local media, some being ‘stylist to the stars’, ‘designer with elegant taste’ while she charmed everyone in their native tongue (Hindi, Gujarati, Kachhi, Punjabi, Swahili & obviously English).
My brothers and I are very fortunate recipients of the beautiful relationships created in these years as a result of this business. Sari Boutique sponsored many local Charity Galas, Bridal Expos and Beauty Pageants while coordinating and participating in fashion shows – a journey through which we have made some amazing friends. I worked in Sari Boutique in between college and working in the garment Industry and in between degrees. Later, I was part of the team which launched and ran ‘Cottage Art’. Moving to America as a teenager and being part of the stereotypical ‘mom & pop’ business definitely had it’s poignant & positive lessons for me for which I will ever be grateful.
Along with our Desi clientele, we started to see and serve Hollywood celebrities from behind as well as on screen, musicians and fashion designers using saris and Indian fabric on western fashion. Thank you for the education and the opportunity to put my fashion degree and Industry experience to good use!
At the turn of the Millennium, Sari Boutique changed name and business to Cottage Art – a handicraft shop carrying furniture and soft furnishings from Bali, India, China and Thailand. ‘Uncle’ travelled to exotic cities (Nepal, Bali, Chiang Mai) in Asia (some not so exotic) to source and mostly to design amazing home furnishings with a blend of vintage fabrics and contemporary design.

This new phase brought about a whole new zest to the business and our lives as we interacted with a very eclectic range of visitors many of whom have become our very dear friends. (Some of these beautiful people actually flew to Goa for my wedding!).
30 years on… ‘Aunty & Uncle’ Nagrani & Family would like to thank every single person who walked in those doors, who we had the opportunity to speak with and to serve, who have enriched our lives in Los Angeles through your knowledge & experience you shared, your friendship and your loyalty to us and our business. We would like to thank especially all our neighbours, fellow businesses owners on Pioneer Blvd. and the members of the City Council. I personally would like to thank all the designers, ‘karigars’ (embroiderers), and our exporters who took the time to teach me during my few years in the business. It’s been magical, it’s been enlightening, it’s been growth in the most amazing of ways including spiritual, it’s been humbling but most of all, it’s been an amazing ride.

‘Aunty’ & ‘Uncle’ now embark on a new journey to build new memories with their family and friends.

From our heart to yours… ‘Shukriya’ (Thank You) & ‘Namaste’ (The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit in you).

Dr. Seuss/Tao/Vedanta – Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

October 14, 2015 by Anupa

Oh, The Places You’ll Go! By Dr. Seuss

The boys and I have a routine every morning during breakfast. We read books at the kitchen table while we have our breakfast.

This morning, ‘A’ brought me ‘Oh, The Places You’ll Go!’ by Dr. Seuss.

I have to admit to being quite impressed with the message. Very deep to a spiritual level, lessons we learn today through Vedanta and New Age Philosophy.

The first page:

‘Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!

This is one recommended way to motivate ourselves, as adults, every morning.

‘You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go’.

Simply put – we have all the tools of life in us. We are in control of our own destiny. Decide and do!

‘Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

The Tao says to go with the flow. Do not resist. Surrender to the Universe and it will take you to good places.

The next few pages talks about,

‘you’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! …

… wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

…except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t. I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

… you’ll be left in the lurch.

Ying & Yang. While you enjoy the highs and soar in success, there will also be the lows, when you get stuck and left behind. There is a balance in life, in the universe.

The next few pages speak about being in a slump and coming out of it with difficulty and then how challenges will come our way and we would need to decide which path to take – the left or the right… Getting confused…and then playing the waiting game…

‘…waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go… for waiting for Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.’

‘NO! That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!’

… Oh the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!…’

There is a chance of stagnation, of being tamasik. Of sitting around and waiting for something to happen. You will not allow this, as this is not who you are. Because you are in charge. This is a message we have to keep telling ourselves if we reach stagnation.

‘… Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t. I’m afraid that sometimes you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

Fame and fortune will come but sometimes we will be cheered and sometimes perhaps jeered or nothing at all. Vedanta says do not get attached to the results of your efforts. Focus and do and move on.

Sometimes we have an internal battle. We compete against ourselves and sometimes we have an internal conflict.

And my favourite part:

‘…So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And you will succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ per cent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

The reality of life: enthusiasm, passion, destiny and being in control of it. The ups and downs and the ins and outs. We all have to go through this beautiful cycle of life and success is to be had when we accept that ‘Life’s a Great Balancing Act.’

Dr. Seuss so deftly through his rhyme and pun gives the message to children of what to expect in life and what not to settle for and how each one of us has everything we need to create this balance and deal with the highs and lows within us. A lesson most of us adults are still learning in adult hood.

DPDF: Stop and pick the dandelions

May 17, 2015May 13, 2015 by Anupa

We were at Regents’ Park on Sunday morning for a kiddie football lesson. It was the first sunny and relatively warm day we have had in a while, so all four of us went.

A stunning day indeed, the boys were happy to be out running around and tumbling down the hill with their buddies. We had a mini picnic then proceeded to leave. Papa and little A went a head leaving little Y and me strolling down the path.

My little boy decided to really ssssttttttrrrrrrroooooollllllll and stopped several times to pick up the little yellow dandelions growing wild. He didn’t just pick them. He looked at them, analyzed them. Some were too big, some were too small, some he didn’t pick with the stem (which upset him) and some he did. But each dandelion that he was satisfied with was for each one of us while we discarded the other’s that didn’t make the cut (literally).

I was getting a little impatient at one point and then just stopped and observed him. He was paying attention to his environment. He noticed the yellow flowers. He noticed the differences. He realised they were pretty and wanted to pick one for all of us including himself. So pure, so natural, so beautiful, so innocent, so thoughtful.

It made me realise that I needed to see the world now through the boys’ eyes. I needed to stop. I needed to allow him his little curious spirit.

The beautiful lessons you learn through the clarity of a child’s eyes… it’s priceless.

Marriage lowers a woman’s IQ

May 13, 2015May 13, 2015 by Anupa

Does it?

On Sunday I watched ‘Piku‘, a new Bollywood movie starring Amitabh Bachchan, Deepika Padukone, Irrfan Khan and Moushumi Chatterjee. The movie is directed by Shoojit Sircar, famed for Madras Cafe and Vicky Donor.

The story revolves around an ageing, widowed father (Amitabh Bachchan) and his single, career-driven daughter (Deepika). It is a very well-directed movie, with an excellent cast who performed beautifully in a very simple story line. It has all the right elements of a comedy, mild romance & adventure and is thought-provoking at moments.

Without revealing too much of the story for those who have not seen it yet, I wanted to focus on a statement that Bhaskor Banerjee (Amitabh) uses very often when speaking about his late wife, ‘Marriage lowers a woman’s IQ’.

The character makes many references about his late wife not having a high IQ as a result of dedicating her life to look after him, their home and their daughter. (He also makes these statements to dissuade his daughter from getting married for two main reasons; one being that she too will lower her IQ by getting married. It’s actually hilarious in context and there are plenty of jibes with other characters in the movie about this.

It does make one think however.

Is that a common perception of a woman who solely dedicates her life to marriage, home and children?

Is it common for women who leave a thriving career to do all the above to feel that they have been ‘dumbed down’ by the so-called mundane tasks?

Do working mothers feel ‘smarter’ when at work and less mentally competent at home?

Managing a home, the needs of a demanding and cranky man (Bhaskor) and a child surely requires a very intelligent and patient woman. N’est pas?

A wife needs to be in tune with all the members in her household, keep her household a safe and nurturing environment for them, understand the needs of both sexes and various age groups, and ensure that the mechanics of her household are in good order and running smoothly at all times. Managing household staff should she have them, e.g. helpers, cooks, nannies, gardeners, etc. It does require people skills, being on top of current affairs, and having eyes and ears all around her.

Another view that can be taken is, so she has lowered her IQ or her potential but there has definitely got to be some internal growth as a person as she plays and juggles all these roles?

Is there a disparity between IQ and Spiritual growth?

Different thoughts keep popping up in my mind regarding this statement. I would love to hear the thought process and experiences of all you women out there. How do you perceive marriage? What has marriage done for you?

Going back to the movie, it was quite funny to hear a man repeatedly say that he thought his wife was stupid for taking care of him. She should have done more with her skills and talents. Granted, it’s a man and a view from a different generation, and fewer men now view their partners as their care takers, but view them as partners in every sense of the word.

Do watch the movie however as the story really has nothing to do with women, but a very simple and necessary daily function of our body!

How do you perceive this statement, ‘marriage lowers a woman’s IQ’?

Day 10: What made you smile today?

May 6, 2015May 9, 2015 by Anupa

Day 10

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In our busy and hectic lives, sometimes we forget to stop and smile, hold back a laugh, or get pulled down by unhappy people. Then we have the continuous depressing reality of the world at large with senseless murders, wars, etc. and the wrath of Mother Nature.

Not too long ago there was the 100 Happy Days phenomenon that encouraged millions of people around the world to keep a social media photo diary for 100 days of things that made one happy each day.

We need this phenomenon to continue for our own selves and to keep positive energy around us which then multiplies into massive movement of positive energy.

I would like to encourage each one of you to share with me and all the readers on what brings a smile to your face everyday. Everyday for the next 30 days (to begin with), in the comment box below, please share with me what brought a smile to your face that day. It can be absolutely anything. Be open to all the that’s out there.

Are you in?

“Can I trust you to….?”

May 5, 2015 by Jaya Lalwani

If you are exhausted by the word “vote”, don’t read any further. But if you want to know why this is relevant to you, stay with me.

I write this as Jon Stewart in New York (The Daily Show) is interviewed by Channel 4 news tonight, live. His prediction for the election outcome is that the British people will eventually work their way through the Miliband family until they “find one they like” and that the current main party competitors, Cameron and Miliband have been wise to lower the public’s expectations of what kind of leader to hope for. Whether in jest or otherwise, there is no denying that most people have an opinion about the current state of play in our country. The real question is whether voters’ true opinions will be reflected on their ballot papers at their polling station this Thursday.

Party election broadcasts (hammers smashing clocks, really?) are supposed to make us feel passionate about mistakes made, lessons learned. But essentially, what have we learned? 100 years ago, women fought for their suffrage and those over the age of 30 were finally given the right to vote if they met the minimum property qualifications. Today, women still fight for equal status but gender distinctions remain; Labour’s pink minibus was a strategy deployed to positively communicate to women voters but this gesture received mixed sentiment.

Women fought to have the right to vote and won; for themselves and for us today. But having the right to vote is not enough; exercising your right is key. Some will argue that because of the electoral system, your vote may not matter. If your constituency has historically always belonged to one party, you may believe that no matter whom you vote for, the outcome will be the same. But five years ago, a coalition government was formed, in part because people wanted change. And that change was communicated by the electorate getting up, getting out and voting.

I hadn’t realised until recently that you could actually swap your vote. Many people will be strategically voting in this election to try and drive the outcome they desire by swapping their vote with someone in a different constituency. The concept of vote swapping hinges heavily on trust but essentially trust is what voting is really about. Do we trust the party we vote for to deliver the promises they say they will make? We will only know if we actually vote for them first. I for one and with many, will be going out on Thursday to vote and I trust that my vote will be counted and will make a difference. Can I trust you to vote?

Day 4: What made you smile today?

April 30, 2015 by Anupa

Day 3… Wednesday… Hump Day….? Not too many smiles… or not wanting to share and make me smile along?

Let’s see what Day 4 brings us all… hopefully tons of smiles and loads of laughs.

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Not too long ago there was the 100 Happy Days phenomenon that encouraged millions of people around the world to keep a social media photo diary for 100 days of things that made one happy each day.

We need this phenomenon to continue for our own selves and to keep positive energy around us which then multiplies into massive movement of positive energy.

Are you in?

Day 3: What made you smile today?

April 28, 2015 by Anupa

What lovely stories! Huge smiles on my face. Thank you for sharing your Day 2 smiles.

………..

Not too long ago there was the 100 Happy Days phenomenon that encouraged millions of people around the world to keep a social media photo diary for 100 days of things that made one happy each day.

We need this phenomenon to continue for our own selves and to keep positive energy around us which then multiplies into massive movement of positive energy.

Are you in?