#Evolve 2015 – The Conscious Way Summit
Mindfulness, awareness, presence & consciousness were words frequently used in our home on a daily basis. In efforts to instill these traits in our children, my husband and I exchanged many a dialogue amongst ourselves using these terms so that our pre-teens would osmotically pick up on our “oh so intelligent” cues. But, it wasn’t until I sat through Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s Conscious Summit, Evolve, in December 2015, that I started resonating with what these terms “actually” meant on so many different levels.
A 3 day summit, beginning with 3 hours on a Friday night, a full Saturday and a conclusive Sunday morning, was to be my “self-care” getaway after I became an avid fan of Dr. Shefali from reading her books and watching her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.
The very first day I sat amongst so many enlightened souls with messages of oneness and consciousness, all gathered in one room with an energetic vibration so high that all “agendas” went out the door. I was excited to dive into the knowledge these amazing authors were going to share and was fixated on the messages I was going to leave with. I had my notepad out, ready to take notes, to share with my friends and family and as I soaked in the first hour of day 1, I was submerged with emotion, vulnerability & a fierce desire to be the best parent I was meant to be!!! Like most parents, I carried the guilt of juggling agendas, not having enough quality time, not being able to give enough individual attention and I often questioned my own responses to my children’s behaviours.
As Dr. Shefali brilliantly conveyed the message of oneness, equality and changing the parenting paradigm, I began to realize that my parenting style was instinctually more traditional & dualistic. Traditional, as in that we view ourselves as the “greater than” and our children as the “lesser than,” all based upon a hierarchal & ego centric parenting pattern. Her underlying message to parents, to obtain freedom from disciplining and create the space to connect with and enjoy your children, is so empowering. To detach from the outcome and create the connection from your heart space vs. your mind space is the preface of her message, allowing us parents to let go of control and our egos. Dr. Shefali’s strong words and direct approach, “Parenting is narcissistic and not a noble act, you did it for you! So liberate yourself from the delusion that you are raising anyone. It is a partnership that allows you to raise your level of consciousness, if you are tuned in. Raise yourself before you raise another human being!” — What a powerful reminder!!
The workshop consisted of real life examples, with profound role playing and reenacting daily situations in homes with children and these visuals brought the audience to their knees. The message that the responses we give to our children are merely a mirror of our own “baggage,” insecurities & fear, not allowing us to parent from a place of love, but rather from a place of lack, was so real! Coming to realize that what we are doing with our children “unconsciously,” from our predisposed “mind space,” expecting perfectionism and fulfilling OUR agendas was such a rude awakening. As I related this to myself, I realized that in this daily hustle with the innate desire of conforming my children to what I believed was, a perfect adult, I was losing the true connection with my children!
As I continued to dive deeper within, I questioned how “unconscious” I was to expect these spirits, born with total equanimity, to give up their inborn fire to accommodate my shortcomings as a parent? What an intelligent reminder that this generation is not our generation, I cannot replicate my upbringing and conform their being. It was then when I made the decision to become a conscious parent and release from the patterns & scripts I inherited, to be present with life and not make it about changing them, but rather nurturing their inborn spirit. I decided that I will not raise my children from a place of judgment, expectations and lack, but rather from a place of abundance, trust and connection.
Once that decision was made, there was another layer of inner work, to recognize that our inner reality is a measure of our outer reality. How was I to discover this new space of “is-ness” and surrender? How was I to be a mom with presence, a mom with love & a mom with pride? As I decided to enter this place of partnership with my children, I was reminded that to unconditionally love, that love has got to begin from inside me and that shift cannot happen until I riseand the route to my children’s authentic power lies in my awakening.
Today, I continue to work towards “neutralizing my ego,” undoing my projection and entering “essence.” I continue to face the daily challenges and remind myself that I am ready to enter the soul to soul relationship with my child. I am here to stay connected to the grand essence of everything, to hose down every element in me where I am triggered, where my ego is activated. I choose now to sit with the emotion and not allow it to go into projection. I let my children feel they are enough; I do not impose, but model what I believe & I aim to provide free mental space for my children to come to their own conclusions. My spirited children have been my invitation to enter a non-conditional relationship and I choose to teach them to awaken and not follow!!!