The End of An Era – Sari Boutique/Cottage Art

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The End of An Era…at Mum’s Mecca…
In June of 1984, Manu & Jyoti Nagrani (Mum & Dad) opened the very first Desi designer boutique on Pioneer Blvd., Artesia (Little India), California called Sari Boutique.
Sari Boutique was opened 2 months after mum and dad migrated to America and boy was it opened with panache & grandeur. Dad built a fine boutique with the help of a decorator (Dusyant) from London and my brothers (Banu & Jack), all hands on. Jack just sent me a message saying, ‘amazing learning experience for Dusyant and I, creating and building the interior display canopies (21 of them) and the warehouse storage……life experience that cannot be taught :-)’.   Mum picked & created the finest of silks and fashions and displayed them in unique ways which were so different at the time for a Desi textiles shop. The then Mayor of Artesia was invited to cut the ribbon and all the known Desi (mainly Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi) personalities and families graced the occasion.
Through the years, mum and dad fondly came to be known as ‘Aunty’ & ‘Uncle’ on the ‘Street’ by staff, clients and fellow business owners. ‘Aunty’ started to collect many titles by her clients and by the local media, some being ‘stylist to the stars’, ‘designer with elegant taste’ while she charmed everyone in their native tongue (Hindi, Gujarati, Kachhi, Punjabi, Swahili & obviously English).
My brothers and I are very fortunate recipients of the beautiful relationships created in these years as a result of this business. Sari Boutique sponsored many local Charity Galas, Bridal Expos and Beauty Pageants while coordinating and participating in fashion shows – a journey through which we have made some amazing friends.   I worked in Sari Boutique in between college and working in the garment Industry and in between degrees.  Later, I was part of the team which launched and ran ‘Cottage Art’.  Moving to America as a teenager and being part of the stereotypical ‘mom & pop’ business definitely had it’s poignant & positive lessons for me for which I will ever be grateful.
Along with our Desi clientele, we started to see and serve Hollywood celebrities from behind as well as on screen, musicians and fashion designers using saris and Indian fabric on western fashion. Thank you for the education and the opportunity to put my fashion degree and Industry experience to good use!
At the turn of the Millennium, Sari Boutique changed name and business to Cottage Art – a handicraft shop carrying furniture and soft furnishings from Bali, India, China and Thailand. ‘Uncle’ travelled to exotic cities (Nepal, Bali, Chiang Mai) in Asia (some not so exotic) to source and mostly to design amazing home furnishings with a blend of vintage fabrics and contemporary design.

This new phase brought about a whole new zest to the business and our lives as we interacted with a very eclectic range of visitors many of whom have become our very dear friends. (Some of these beautiful people actually flew to Goa for my wedding!).
30 years on… ‘Aunty & Uncle’ Nagrani & Family would like to thank every single person who walked in those doors, who we had the opportunity to speak with and to serve, who have enriched our lives in Los Angeles through your knowledge & experience you shared, your friendship and your loyalty to us and our business. We would like to thank especially all our neighbours, fellow businesses owners on Pioneer Blvd. and the members of the City Council.  I personally would like to thank all the designers, ‘karigars’ (embroiderers), and our exporters who took the time to teach me during my few years in the business.   It’s been magical, it’s been enlightening, it’s been growth in the most amazing of ways including spiritual, it’s been humbling but most of all, it’s been an amazing ride.

‘Aunty’ & ‘Uncle’ now embark on a new journey to build new memories with their family and friends.

From our heart to yours… ‘Shukriya’ (Thank You) & ‘Namaste’ (The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit in you).

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Dr. Seuss/Tao/Vedanta – Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

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Oh, The Places You’ll Go! By Dr. Seuss

The boys and I have a routine every morning during breakfast.  We read books at the kitchen table while we have our breakfast.

This morning, ‘A’ brought me ‘Oh, The Places You’ll Go!’ by Dr. Seuss.

I have to admit to being quite impressed with the message.  Very deep to a spiritual level, lessons we learn today through Vedanta and New Age Philosophy.

 

The first page:

‘Congratulations! Today is your day.  You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!

This is one recommended way to motivate ourselves, as adults, every morning.

‘You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You’re on your own.  And you know what you know.  And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go’.

Simply put – we have all the tools of life in us.  We are in control of our own destiny.  Decide and do!

‘Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry.  Don’t stew.  Just go right along.  You’ll start happening too.

The Tao says to go with the flow.  Do not resist.  Surrender to the Universe and it will take you to good places.

 

The next few pages talks about,

‘you’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! …

… wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

…except when you don’t.  Because, sometimes, you won’t.  I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

… you’ll be left in the lurch.

Ying & Yang.  While you enjoy the highs and soar in success, there will also be the lows, when you get stuck and left behind.  There is a balance in life, in the universe.

 

The next few pages speak about being in a slump and coming out of it with difficulty and then how challenges will come our way and we would need to decide which path to take – the left or the right… Getting confused…and then playing the waiting game…

‘…waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go… for waiting for Another Chance.  Everyone is just waiting.’

‘NO! That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high!  Ready for anything under the sky.  Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!’

… Oh the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!…’

 

There is a chance of stagnation, of being tamasik.  Of sitting around and waiting for something to happen. You will not allow this, as this is not who you are. Because you are in charge.  This is a message we have to keep telling ourselves if we reach stagnation.

 

‘… Fame!  You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV. 

Except when they don’t.  Because, sometimes, they won’t.  I’m afraid that sometimes you’ll play lonely games too.  Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

 

Fame and fortune will come but sometimes we will be cheered and sometimes perhaps jeered or nothing at all.  Vedanta says do not get attached to the results of your efforts.  Focus and do and move on.

Sometimes we have an internal battle.  We compete against ourselves and sometimes we have an internal conflict.

 

And my favourite part:

‘…So be sure when you step.  Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.  Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.  And never mix up your right foot with your left. 

And you will succeed?  Yes!  You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ per cent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

 

The reality of life: enthusiasm, passion, destiny and being in control of it.  The ups and downs and the ins and outs.  We all have to go through this beautiful cycle of life and success is to be had when we accept that ‘Life’s a Great Balancing Act.’

Dr. Seuss so deftly through his rhyme and pun gives the message to children of what to expect in life and what not to settle for and how each one of us has everything we need to create this balance and deal with the highs and lows within us.  A lesson most of us adults are still learning in adult hood.

 

 

Travelling alone with 2 Toddlers!

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Two boys and me on a long haul…

Where have I been the last 2 months? This has been one of my best summers in a long while both, in London and in Los Angeles.

I had a slew of visitors in London prior to leaving with the boys to California in July and as I got to LA, the plethora of people we met and spent time with just left a lovely, warm glow in my heart and my memories.

This was also the first time I travelled alone with the boys – aged 3+. I was slightly (just!) apprehensive a whole month prior to the flight and tried to be organized and over organized with how and what to take on board with me, and what state of mind I should be in to make it through with the two.

Here is how I survived the journey with two lovely little boys and how they survived me!

  1. Take the latest flight available to LA in my preferred airline – this time Air New Zealand
  2. Air New Zealand offers the use of a ‘sky couch’ for an additional £60/head. This means that the 3-seater by the window turns in to a ‘sofa-cum-bed’ where each seat has a section at the foot that lifts up flush to the seat in the front. Once all 3 are lifted up – you have a bed. They also provide you with a ‘mattress’ cover and 2 big pillows in addition to the typical airline pillows and blankets.
  3. Each of us had backpacks. I purchased a Kipling backpack as I knew a roller bag, a double stroller and two toddlers would be hard to manage. The boys had their own little backpacks.
  4. Their backpack – 2 toys, stickers, 3 snacks, kids’ headphones
  5. My backpack – extra clothes, pull-ups, more snacks, a backup homemade meal, 2 iPads.
  6. I called the airline in advance to know of the ‘milk’ situation. They did not have whole milk and did not serve milk as a drink, so I bought milk at Boots once we were through security. NOTE: In America (not sure about other countries) you cannot carry milk through security for children over 2. On the return, I was too organized and the milk got confiscated. Lucky for me, the airline stewardess was amazing and helped me settle the boys and brought me 2 glasses of warm milk.
  7. In-flight entertainment. This is great ‘after’ takeoff and once the ‘fasten seat belt’ light is switched off. Prior to that, the captain makes loads of announcements that ‘interrupt’ the entertainment.   This did not bode well for my boys. So I quickly switched to the iPads and went back to the entertainment system later.
  8. So the boys didn’t fall asleep as I planned, but they were not disruptive and the benefit of sleeping less on the flight helped us get through jet lag faster in LA, as they slept a long stretch at night.

We got to LA with all 3 of us happy and in good moods and were ready for the amazing holiday that was in store for us!

 

 

DPDF: Fast Forward – Rewind

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Fast Forward – Rewind

Since the boys have been born hubby and I have viewed a numerous number of nursery and primary schools. The very first one we viewed was when the boys were 4 months. 3 years later we are still at it.
The boys are currently in a very good nursery/pre-prep school in North London where they can potentially stay till they are 7 years old. However, at the age of 6, boys are to sit a ‘7+’ assessment to secure a place in a good junior school. This is all fine as long as there is an understanding between parents, primary and junior schools that the boys are only 6 and they should be evaluated based on their current abilities. It’s too early to determine their educational path and goals at this age and in all honesty they should not even have to be ‘assessed’. But that is our system in the UK and we accept it.

What I can’t come to terms with is the pressure that is put on the children to perform at this age (x 2 in my case where each boy has a different aptitude and interest) and that parents feel compelled to have their 6 year olds ‘tutored’ to give them a ‘competitive edge’.
Should they even be a competitive edge at this age? Should children have to undergo such pressure?
The parents who do not condone the idea of tutoring their children at this age are usually battling an internal guilt that they may be putting their children at a ‘disadvantage’.
The next option then is to have the boys sit for assessments at the ages of 3 or 4 which is done in a more relaxed and ‘playful’ way wherein the child is unaware that they are being ‘assessed’ and the parents are not on edge.  So we then embark on a new set of school tours that have entry points at ages 4 & 5 and go through the age of 11, 13 or 18.  This is not long after we have already been through the journey of selecting the ‘perfect’ nursery and primary school.
This is obviously the case in private schooling only and they are limited options of ‘non-selective’ schools that start at nursery or kindergarten and go straight through to senior schools/GCSEs.

On a lighter note, while on these school visits, we have been envisioning our 3 year olds fast-forward to the age of 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and the real thrill has been the journey back (not that far back!) to when we were in similar classrooms, uniforms, activities which made us just want to enroll ourselves, rewind a few years and enjoy those innocent and playful years in a school environment until our boys are ready to begin that journey!

Aunty at the gym

woodchopper, middle-age, fit lady

So I was working out at the gym with a friend last week.  I was working on the ‘wood chopper’ and got a little lax while ‘chatting’ with my friend.

There was a sweet-faced, Indian lady, perhaps in her late 50’s or early 60’s (oooh… I hate guessing ages) working out just behind me.

I got tapped on the back, and this lovely lady just said, ‘would you mind if I said something?’, and I just knew…. my elbows were bent and they were meant to be straight through the entire action of pulling the resistance handle across.  I looked at her sheepishly and said, ‘it’s my elbows right?’.  She smiled and nodded and carried on to watch how I did it again and then corrected my posture and asked me, ‘did you feel the difference?’

I have to admit at being very impressed with this lady.  I have observed her regularly at the gym, sometimes with a personal trainer, sometimes on her own fitness regime.

Another role model, another standard set.

Aunty at the gym… you rock!

DPDF: My Heart Skips a Beat

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I am thoroughly enjoying this age and stage that the boys are in.  Their sentences are so well-formed that every time they say something new, it throws me off guard.  Most of the time I just burst out laughing at the things they come up with.

But what really makes my heart skip a beat is the dialogue between the two of them.  Their life long bond and friendship is forming its early roots.  ‘A’ loves to engage ‘Y’ in a game or an activity.  He says his brother’s name with such love and earnesty.  He makes ‘Y’ giggle a lot, and I just love the sound of both their voices.  (That’s when they’re not pulling each other’s hair out!).

‘Y’ loves to play his guitar (his 3rd ukulele) and sing.  He takes on the persona of ‘Toby’ – the singer who comes to their nursery every week.  He picks a cushion, stool or chair while carrying his ‘guitar’ and finds a place in front of his audience.  Most of the time it’s ‘A’.  He sits, tunes his ‘guitar’ and says, ‘what song would you like today, A?’ And the two of them begin their duets of ‘Ba Ba Black Sheep’, ‘Wheels on the Bus’, ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ and ‘I can sing a Rainbow’.  It just melts my heart.

Although ‘A’ likes to give his brother a whack some times or tug at his long hair (Y just had a crew cut yesterday), he exhibits generosity and compassion to him when needed.  He won’t allow me to walk away from ‘Y’ when he has a tantrum or fusses about something.

And then they instigate each other to create mischief!  They were sitting at the kitchen table this morning for breakfast and they remembered the carton of beer sitting below.  ‘A’ randomly gets a mischievous glint in his eyes and says, ‘Y – let’s have beer’ and they both scrambled under the table and take a can each! – yes I caught them on time!

When one of them whines for hubby or me at bed time after they’re tucked in, the other one says really sweetly, ‘Mama is coming or Papa is coming’.

It’s all music to my ears and they are so blessed to have each other.

 

 

 

A Woman of Substance – Srimati Navabhai Punjabi

Srimati Navabhai Punjabi
Srimati Navabhai Punjabi

I bow down to you, Srimati Navabhai Punjabi.

I could not have known a more real woman of substance than my husband’s late paternal grandmother.

Having never lived with my own grandparents and only visited them during summer holidays, I had never really understood what it was like to live with a grandparent until I got married.  Initially I was excited at the idea and then I got very nervous at the thought of living in a traditional Indian joint family.  I was afraid of what ‘old fashioned rules’ could be ‘imposed’ on me coming from a more liberal family.  I was afraid, I was nervous and at times I did not handle many situations very well.

And that’s when you really need to be around the elderly and the wise – to learn from them.  They’ve been there, done that, over and over in the 80+ years of their lives.  They have experienced every situation, dealing with every generation presenting them with a variety of personalities in their life time.  They’ve made their share of mistakes and have had their share of trials and tribulations.  They had ‘arrived’ into their ‘perfect’ selves somewhere in their late 60’s early 70’s.

It took the two of us exactly 3 months to break the barriers, hers of seeing me as the third generation daughter-in-law and the heavy expectations that come with the role, and mine wanting to rebel all of it and be treated fairly as a grandchild, being that I was the same age as her grandson.  3 months of minor clashes, misunderstandings and misinterpretations and then the cloud moved to open skies in our relationship.  I had the honour of then being treated as another loved child of the family; another valuable member of her unit.  Someone she could trust; ask anything of knowing that I will only be too happy to do it (once we established the ‘love’ and dissolved the idea of ‘duty’).  It was always so heart-warming when ‘dadima’ (paternal grandmother) would beam when she saw me. It would melt my heart when she asked me to give her company, chat with her, listen to her stories, or even ask me to buy her wool so she could knit blankets for her unborn grandchildren, coasters, door-knob handles for the house, scarves for us, etc.

I would like to share with you Dadima’s very long and deep story in short. (I have sought my husband’s approval for my poetic license writing about his beloved grandmother through my romantic eyes and heart).

She was the eldest of 4 siblings, 2 sisters and a brother after her.  She was born and grew up in Hyderabad, Sindh (then a State in British India, currently a State in Pakistan).  Dadima in her youth had also lived in Egypt with her family for a few years. She married a lovely gentleman from the same community, Mr. Jairam Punjabi.  They had their first two sons and eldest daughter in Sindh (Hyderabad and Karachi) and then Dada (paternal grandfather) moved to Hong Kong during the India-Pakistan partition to work and set up his business with other family members.  She followed him to Hong Kong where she lived in a joint home with cousins-in-law and their growing families and where the three children grew up.  A few years later, dadima and her three children temporarily moved back to India to her own family home while Dada remained in Hong Kong.  At the time, this was common with many families, even with  my grandparents, as it made more economic sense for the men to earn their living in Hong Kong (or abroad) while the wives and children lived and grew up in India.  While living with her family in Jaipur, dadima had 2 more daughters.  Eventually, dadima and her 5 children moved back to Hong Kong where they were a complete family again, and the two sons joined the ‘family business.  At that point of her life, she had already lived in a few cities and countries and had effortlessly adapted to the culture in each one; learning the local languages, the local cuisines and modernising herself to ‘fit’ in. (I met ‘dadima’ in London – her final home where she moved and adjusted to in her 70’s). Her family grew and flourished; each child got married and had their own children. Other than my husband’s immediate family, all his father’s siblings settled in different countries, namely the U.S., Malaysia and Mauritius.  Unfortunately, faith had other plans for dadima and her family. Her 2nd son, 2 years after becoming a father to a lovely little girl died of a heart-attack.  Many years later, she lost her husband, and shortly after that, my father-in-law, her eldest child.  Years later, her 2nd daughter was widowed and then her baby, her 3rd daughter, also passed away of a heart-attack.  Surviving these tragedies, she also lost her first grand daughter to cancer while her child was only a toddler (the first great grandchild).  I cannot even begin to fathom how anyone can ever relate to or understand the intensity of the grief this amazing lady withstood.

How does one make sense out of outliving your spouse, children and a grandchild?  What kind of a void does that mother experience? How do you look forward to the next day? How are you expected  to conduct yourself? What conversations do you have with yourself given that kind of heart break? How can you be motivated to smile or bring a smile to anyone?  How do you allow your heart to love? What conversations do you have with the remaining of your family members and to those around?  How do you not live in fear anticipating yet another tragedy, God forbid?

How did dadima do all the above and more?  With dignity.  And that is the essence of this woman, of a mother; handling all of life’s cruelty with dignity.  She would still light up like a child when certain dishes were prepared for her.  She would still beam when any of her grandchildren were due to visit.  She was still observant to everyone’s personalities and characters and knew what each child liked.  She still silently looked over her remaining brood with love, with warmth, with consideration and ensured each one’s favourite dishes were prepared, and that they were comfortable. She smiled, she laughed, she loved, she shared, she cared… all till the very end.  She read, she knitted. She watched football, cricket and tennis to share in the passions of my husband, the grandson who lived with her.

Her strength was so magnificent that till today, along with my mother, ‘dadima’ is my mental reference point.  When I’m in a situation I am unsure how to handle, I think, ‘How would she have handled this situation?  What would she have said in this instance?  What would she have thought?’ And then I just quietly pray that she is guiding me to do the right thing.

The lessons I’ve learned in my brief time with her, and in these 10 years of living with her blessings:

  1. Family is family.   We stay together through the good times and the bad times.
  2. Family and family time revolves around food.  In satisfying palettes not just filling tummies.
  3. A family consists of a variety of personalities and emotions.  Accept it all.  Be good to all.
  4. Knitting and crocheting helps prevent Alzheimer’s and keeps the ageing in good mental form.
  5. It is important to love and care and keep your heart open, no matter what life bestows upon you.
  6. Faith and devotion to the Almighty and believing in Him/Her gives one the strength, the courage and the wherewithal to handle any situation.
  7. Look forward to customs and traditions; no matter how dated some of them may appear to be.
  8. Our elders are precious gems.  We need to hold them and cherish them delicately in our hands.  They can only bless us.
  9. The heart and mind of an elderly person is as innocent as a child’s.  Don’t judge them, don’t be harsh.
  10. Time is a valuable commodity.  That’s all they want from you.  A little attention, a little love, a little interaction.  5 minutes of our time is hours of happiness for them.
  11. Keep your head up high and be graceful, especially when you are faced with the worst.
  12. The importance of saying ‘I’m sorry’, no matter your age, your size, your status.  It goes a long, long way.
  13. The ‘ego’ should be inconspicuous and non-existent.

Sure most of this is acquired with age and one’s own experiences and personal growth, but having a role model in your mind’s eye can only help us achieve them in due course of time.

Happy 10 years of being reunited with Dada and your children and granddaughter.  We miss you loads.  Thank you for continuously watching over us and guiding us with your beautiful smile and heart.

BritMums Live”>I’m going to BritMums Live

 

DPDF: Stop and pick the dandelions

Dandelion
Dandelion

We were at Regents’ Park on Sunday morning for a kiddie football lesson.  It was the first sunny and relatively warm day we have had in a while, so all four of us went.

A stunning day indeed, the boys were happy to be out running around and tumbling down the hill with their buddies. We had a mini picnic then proceeded to leave.  Papa and little A went a head leaving little Y and me strolling down the path.

My little boy decided to really ssssttttttrrrrrrroooooollllllll and stopped several times to pick up the little yellow dandelions growing wild.  He didn’t just pick them.  He looked at them, analyzed them.  Some were too big, some were too small, some he didn’t pick with the stem (which upset him) and some he did.  But each dandelion that he was satisfied with was for each one of us while we discarded the other’s that didn’t make the cut (literally).

I was getting a little impatient at one point and then just stopped and observed him.  He was paying attention to his environment.  He noticed the yellow flowers.  He noticed the differences.  He realised they were pretty and wanted to pick one for all of us including himself.  So pure, so natural, so beautiful, so innocent, so thoughtful.

It made me realise that I needed to see the world now through the boys’ eyes.  I needed to stop.  I needed to allow him his little curious spirit.

The beautiful lessons you learn through the clarity of a child’s eyes… it’s priceless.

 

Marriage lowers a woman’s IQ

Bhaskor Banerjee (Amitabh  Bachchan)
Bhaskor Banerjee (Amitabh Bachchan)

Does it?

On Sunday I watched ‘Piku‘, a new Bollywood movie starring Amitabh Bachchan, Deepika Padukone, Irrfan Khan and Moushumi Chatterjee.  The movie is directed by Shoojit Sircar, famed for Madras Cafe and Vicky Donor.

The story revolves around an ageing, widowed father (Amitabh Bachchan) and his single, career-driven daughter (Deepika).  It is a very well-directed movie, with an excellent cast who performed beautifully in a very simple story line.  It has all the right elements of a comedy, mild romance & adventure and is thought-provoking at moments.

Without revealing too much of the story for those who have not seen it yet, I wanted to focus on a statement that Bhaskor Banerjee (Amitabh) uses very often when speaking about his late wife, ‘Marriage lowers a woman’s IQ’.  

The character makes many references about his late wife not having a high IQ as a result of dedicating her life to look after him, their home and their daughter. (He also makes these statements to dissuade his daughter from getting married for two main reasons; one being that she too will lower her IQ by getting married.  It’s actually hilarious in context and there are plenty of jibes with other characters in the movie about this.

It does make one think however.

Is that a common perception of a woman who solely dedicates her life to marriage, home and children?

Is it common for women who leave a thriving career to do all the above to feel that they have been ‘dumbed down’ by the so-called mundane tasks?

Do working mothers feel ‘smarter’ when at work and less mentally competent at home?

Managing a home, the needs of a demanding and cranky man (Bhaskor) and a child surely requires a very intelligent and patient woman. N’est pas?

A wife needs to be in tune with all the members in her household, keep her household a safe and nurturing environment for them, understand the needs of both sexes and various age groups, and ensure that the mechanics of her household are in good order and running smoothly at all times.  Managing household staff should she have them, e.g. helpers, cooks, nannies, gardeners, etc.  It does require people skills, being on top of current affairs, and having eyes and ears all around her.

Another view that can be taken is, so she has lowered her IQ or her potential but there has definitely got to be some internal growth as a person as she plays and juggles all these roles?

Is there a disparity between IQ and Spiritual growth?

Different thoughts keep popping up in my mind regarding this statement.  I would love to hear the thought process and experiences of all you women out there.  How do you perceive marriage?  What has marriage done for you?

Going back to the movie, it was quite funny to hear a man repeatedly say that he thought his wife was stupid for taking care of him.  She should have done more with her skills and talents.  Granted, it’s a man and a view from a different generation, and fewer men now view their partners as their care takers, but view them as partners in every sense of the word.

Do watch the movie however as the story really has nothing to do with women, but a very simple and necessary daily function of our body!

How do you perceive this statement, ‘marriage lowers a woman’s IQ’?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Diesel vs. Unleaded

I have been certified now officially as a  ‘Creature of Habit’.

With a background in wedding planning and then being a twin mum I just have to be organised, or at least pretend to be.  I have schedules and time tables.  I need everything to run like clock-work because there is a lot I would like to do and be.  And then there’s reality.  There’s Plan B.  There’s loss of memory.  There are children falling ill.  There’s unforeseen circumstances.  AND THEN there’s diesel and unleaded!

I was running a very tight schedule this weekend, we had swimming, birthday parties, a dinner guest, a pub lunch, etc.  I had it all down and delegated between hubby & nanny while I fit in a run to the supermarket on an almost empty tank of fuel.

Hubby taking boys to the birthday party while I shopped, prepared for dinner then was meant to join him at the birthday party.  I get to the shop and realise I have his car which does not have the trolley token.  Not a big deal, I buy another one and attach it to his key bunch.  Shopping done and loaded, I’m so bang on schedule, and head to the petrol/gas station.  I agree to get my  4p off a litre from the Tesco Club points and fill away.  I put the nozzle back in the pump and s*!%… I filled Unleaded instead of Diesel!  Still calm, I messaged hubby, then proceed to sit in the car and start the engine.  I get a panic call from hubby… ‘put the engine off! don’t drive the car! call RAC ASAP!’.

Now I panic.  I have potentially damaged his E-Class MB which could be grounds for divorce or a very unhappy few months.  RAC reassure me that it should all be okay and they will send a ‘specialist recovery vehicle’ which will ‘drain the incorrect petrol and re-fill the correct one and see if any damage has been done’… BUT after 2 hours!!!  So here I am, sitting in my car at the petrol pump with a dying mobile battery and can not charge the phone since I can not turn on the engine.  Thank God for the last Evening Standard at the kiosk… which I read from end to end.

RAC shows up an hour and half later thankfully, tells me to go have a cup of coffee while they do what they need to for 1/2 an hour.  Unleaded drained, few litres of diesel filled, no immediate damage done but a chance of a future one cropping up.  Almost 3 hours later I’m home… missed the birthday party and no time to prepare dinner. BUT a car that works right now.

What I learned:

1.  Go slow.  The world is not coming to an immediate end.

2.  Engage human pilot and put auto-pilot on hold.

3.  Always ensure you have a good team – hubby and nanny – in my case – so I did not need to worry about the children.

4.  READ the cap on the gas tank.  It clearly said ‘diesel‘ but I was so running on a schedule I clearly missed it.

5.  If incorrect petrol is filled: DO NOT START THE CAR, DO NOT DRIVE THE CAR.  CALL FOR ROAD SIDE ASSISTANCE.

6.  Once you have had the tank ‘cleaned off the contamination’, fill the tank up full with the ‘correct’ petrol.  When it is half-empty, refill till the top and then run it down empty.  This should help ensure that any ‘contamination’ in the tank does not mess up the fuel system.

7.  The incorrect petrol can potentially severely damage the fuel system in the car, which would need to be replaced for some mega money.

8.  Schedules are schedules.  Stay calm, stay safe. READ.

9.  Be in the present moment. Be aware.  Take it in.  Take in that I am not in MY car.  READ.

10.  When you do something silly… share it with everyone to educate and save them from committing silliness themselves.

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