‘Wear your heart on your sleeve’ – Major Ritu Pant

This morning I was forwarded this inspiring video of Major Ritu Pant – Serving Indian Army Officer.

I have watched it over, and over again and have hung on to every word of hers.

My attempt at translating the poem- please forgive any errors and mistransalations:

‘Dekha hai toote taron ko manzilon pe aate hue’

I have seen broken stars fall to the earth

‘ashkon se bhari aankhon ko geet gungunate hue’

their tear filled eyes singing songs (telling their story)

khud pe yekin hi kafi hai jhukane ko aasman

one’s own faith in oneself is enough to make the skies bow down

varna suna hai maine bhi kismeton ko vajud mitate hue 

or else I have heard that luck (Kismet) can destroy one’s own existence (ego)

A friend has kindly translated the same poem for me:

‘Those who were thought to be down and out have also been known to rise from the ashes.

Their stories are an inspiration for others despite the pain they have endured

No hurdle is greater than one’s faith in their true self once it’s been realised

It is no surprise that the existence (ego) of those who suffer from excessive pride (without knowing of the inner self) in annihilated through their own doing.’

Major Ritu Pant has come to the limelight due to her participation in Mrs. India Earth 2017.  I am grateful to this contest only because it has brought to light a hidden gem.  Major Ritu Pant has served in the Indian Army for 12 years, is married to Dr. Vivek Sood who is a doctor in the Army Medical Corps, and they have 2 lovely daughters.

In 2015 she was awarded for rescuing 18 young soldiers who were injured in  ID blasts in Manipur, North East India.

Allow me to share with you the highlight of her introduction:

“I am an amalgamation of dedication, devotion, compassion and hard-work.”

“I am a writer, poet, singer, guitarist, avid reader, fitness freak and most of all a God-fearing lady.”

‘A message to all women, “We are power.  We have the power to stay strong against all odds.  We have the power to stay determined to follow our dreams and to listen to our heart. To answer all the questions which we ask ourselves.  Wear your heart on your sleeves’.

“If you dare to dare, dare to dream, dare to achieve, then nothing can stop you.”

She brings a message of “love, peace and humanity to the world” and wants to “subtract crime and violence against women; hatred and negativity from society.”

Wow!  I salute you Major Ritu Pant for being a ‘complete‘ and ‘whole’ woman.  For your courage.  For celebrating yourself and your talents.  For your compassion.  For your dedication to your country – India.  For protecting your country and your people.  For bringing a very important message of daring to dream and to achieve and your message of love and compassion to women and to the world.  For reminding us of the power each one of us has in us to ‘be’ women and to celebrate all our inherent female qualities ‘amalgamated’ in to one.  For reminding us that dedication and hard-work are core values that can only have impact with compassion and devotion.  Your ‘princesses’ are very blessed to have you as their role-model.

Jai Hind!



Fertility and You

As far as mankind has progressed with science and medicine, ironically there also seems to be an increased number of individuals/couples struggling with fertility.

The natural function of bearing a child is getting harder and harder due to a large number of factors, namely poor diet, stress, hyper/hectic lifestyles and unreasonable demands we put on ourselves, our bodies and our partners.  We have unknowingly created this vicious cycle that is now inhibiting a natural function of our body.

Today, the words ‘holistic’ and ‘mindfulness’ are so common and used in every context possible.  There is a reason for this.  We have lost touch with ourselves and with basic human needs such as love, affection, respect, time, and long deep breaths.  We make check lists, bucket lists, expectation lists, to do lists, etc, and just keep ploughing through them until we hit a major road block.  This causes anxiety, stress, depression, self-doubt and a vicious cycle that then makes us keep hitting more road blocks.

When it comes to fertility and family planning, we need to move away from the check-list and approach it ‘holistically’ from the get go.

Here are some thoughts to consider before embarking on this beautiful and sometimes trying journey:

  1.  Are you mentally and emotionally ready for this ride?
  2. Is your partner mentally and emotionally ready for this journey?
  3. Are you taking a step back from your hectic lifestyle and the pressures you put on yourself?
  4. Have you taken a moment to breathe and exhale?
  5. Are you physically fit? By this I mean, healthy and active with a good diet.

You and your partner need to be in a good (healthy – physically, emotionally and mentally) place to conceive.  It is natural to have at least one unsuccessful attempts, sometimes 2.  Let this not send you into a tail spin as once again you will get on that vicious cycle.

What I would like to suggest before you reach out for medical assistance/intervention, is to get your mind and body ‘baby ready‘.

Here are some basic and common ideas but they are very powerful in their effect:

  1. Evaluate your diet – ensure it is nutritious and wholesome.
  2. Start or maintain a physical fitness routine – this doesn’t have to be a heavy session at the gym, but even a long walk 2-3 times a week out in nature.
  3. Spend more ‘quality’ time with your partner – romantic, light, happy, positive, fun.  Spend less time discussing ‘baby’, to-do’s etc.
  4. Surround yourself with positive people, energy, books, activities, music.
  5. Cleanse, re-balance and revitalise your body – this is where natural therapies come in.  Use a complementary therapy that resonates with you and a therapist you connect with to remove negative energies in your aura and in your body, unblock your internal blocks be it mental or emotional and re-align and re-connect with yourself.
  6. Engage in a hobby or activity that you really enjoy and love – dance, musical instruments, performing arts, reading, cycling…

All of the above give your cells what they need to make your body function the way it is intended to.   Treat your body with love and respect.  Once you have made it so ‘baby-friendly’ you will experience a much higher success rate with either naturally conceiving or having IVF or hormone therapy.   You have a responsibility to yourself to make it happen.

Happy thoughts!





The Lakshmi Principle


Goddess Lakshmi

Who is Lakshmi?

Put very simply, Lakshmi is the Hindu Goddess of Wealth.

In a Hindu family, when a girl is born, it is said that ‘Lakshmi has come in to the home’.  When a girl gets married, it is also said that ‘Lakshmi has come in to our home’.  – The latter bearing a lot of pressure! 😉

Unfortunately to most people, the term ‘wealth’ only relates to monetary wealth.  To have and to be able to possess luxuries.  And if we do not posses this form of wealth forever, we feel that ‘Lakshmi‘ has abandoned us for another.

What does ‘wealth’ mean to you?

I attended a lovely discourse last week, ‘Women without Walls’, by Swamini (Religious Teacher) Supriyananda at the Chinmaya Mission in Hendon.

The ‘Women’ in question were the Hindu Goddesses Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati and how we can ‘take’ their attributes and strength and make them OURS.  How we can be ‘complete’ women when possessing these amazing characteristics of these lovely Celestial Beings.  They are solely there for us to learn from and relate to.  We read signs and books that say that all of us women are Goddesses or we have a Goddess inside us.  But, do we understand what that means?  What does it mean to be a Goddess?  And if we believed we are Goddesses or have a Goddess inside of us then we would perhaps not be prone to feeling like ‘victims’ of circumstance but instead always feel empowered by these special qualities of a Goddess. No?

(Durga:  Goddess of Power (Shakti) – she destroys evil forces that threaten the better good.  Saraswati:  Goddess of Knowledge – education, arts, music, intelligence.)

So, back to Goddess Lakshmi.  Why Lakshmi?  So much of the discussion resonated with me, my upbringing, it also gave me so much more adoration for my own mother.

What is ‘wealth’ to you?

Wealth to me has always been my health, my family, my friends, my values, my reputation. I would go further to say, I am blessed to have this wealth in ABUNDANCE.

Let’s go deeper in to Lakshmi and her ‘wealth’:

Resourceful, Virtues, Generosity, Devotion, Beauty, Compassion, Intelligence, Carefree, Pure, Charismatic-Charming, Radiant, Happiness, Love.

At the discussion it took as ages and prodding from Swaminiji  for us to come with the latter to, but the most important of them all:  HAPPINESS AND LOVE!

Did you think about it? 😉

Lakshmi is ABUNDANT in all of the above.  This is the Lakshmi principle.  Being resourceful, abundant, happiness, love, generous, virtuous, beautiful, devoted,  compassionate, smart, carefree, pure, charismatic, raidant.

Do we not aim to possess these qualities or to make these qualities in us shine?

Are we not resourceful as women?  We just know how to get the job done no matter where and what.  We never fall short of resources.

Which qualities of Lakshmi are you aware that you possess?  Which attributes would you wish to sharpen?

Namaste! The Goddess of me salutes the Goddess in you!






2017 – What is YOUR story?

Happy New Year to you all!

On the 17th day of the new year?  Is it already starting to feel old?  Or are you still revelling in the magic of the holidays and ringing in the New Year with near and dear ones?

We have all had a couple of weeks to settle in post the holiday madness – and settle in with our resolutions.

While making resolutions for this year… have you had a moment to reflect upon the previous year and how many resolutions you accomplished and went the whole 12 months with?  The ones that you did honour through the year have probably now become second nature to you; in which case, well done!

And now for your story.

We all tell ourselves a ‘story’ about who we are, the image we have of ourselves and our lives, of our families, of our careers, and the image we ‘think’ people have of us and the impressions we want to make.   Many choose a positive and happy story and many choose a story of sorry and self-pity.  In between these two, there are millions of different stories we create.  I also say ‘choose’ because for most part we do ‘choose’ our story.  We want it to be a certain way because of the results it brings us – results we are attached too.  Then we get so wrapped up in it and make it so real that we can’t tell the difference between our reality and our story.

So this year… I encourage everyone to take a pen and journal (that’s if you can resist using an electronic device) and WRITE your story for 2017.  Create it now, and put down exactly the way you desire it to be. Create a story of who you are inside and outside – are your light and happy ?  are you sad and in reminiscing on the ‘good old days’?  are you regretful of things you hadn’t done or accomplished till this moment?  are you eager to start a new day every morning?  are you a victim of circumstance?  are you in the driver’s seat with full control?  are you cautious?  are you adventurous?  In what state of mind is your character in this story?  Who does this character really want to be this year?  Who does this character want to be around?  What do you want to be around?  Write down everything that would make your life work this year and what would bring joy to your heart.  Write down all the names of the people you would like to interact with this year and in what capacity and situations. Write down all the places you would like to visit this year and why; all the material things you want to possess.  Write down how you see each element in your life unfold month by month and where you imagine yourself to be at the end of the year.

Write and create a way; keep adding paragraphs and chapters.  You can go back to any page at any time and edit it, adjust it, add to it, take away from it.  It’s YOUR story!

Note:  no resolutions, no goals, no promises.  Just your story for 2017.

Happy 2017!



Women abuse Women too!


…and more consistently and regularly than men could!

We naturally get in to a rage when we hear of men physically, mentally or emotionally abusing women.  We have names for these men.  We encourage these women to leave these men/these relationships; we demand these men go for counselling; we get psychiatrists and lawyers and media on to these men.

What do we do about women mentally and emotionally abusing omen?  Nothing.  We just have a name for these women.  ‘B*!%&’.  And we leave it at that.

There are so many female-female abusive relationships that after having a ‘bitch’ session, or we try to get even (uhuh), we just brush it off.  We call it a woman’s natural and instinctive behaviour and make it okay.

I know I’m walking on very thin ice as I broach this subject (gently) and I am probably asking for some controversial and ‘abusive’ responses… but… hey… I’m going to lay it out.

What are some of these relationships?

  1. ‘Friends-Society’.  Before my friends beat me up… no… not you….I have chosen very well.  But, seriously,  they are so-called friends and friendships that can be very emotionally or mentally abusive.  E.g. a friend with a very low self-esteem or a complex can really dish out some poor behaviour, body language, false stories, intentionally leaving someone out of a group activity or event, and being derogatory towards the ‘friend’ they are envious of.  There’s also the competitive personality that just has to keep playing the ‘one-up-man-ship’ game in various aspects of life.  The secretive, the manipulative, the victim…
  2. ‘Mother & Daughter’. Yup.  As pure and beautiful as this relationship can and should be, there is the tiger/pushy mum who expects her daughter to excel in everything from looks, talent, education, husband, kids, kids’ education, size of the home, etc.  Although this may be done in the daughter’s ‘best interest’, it can have many negative ramifications on that girl/lady, who then turns in to the woman who is never satisfied with anything because she doesn’tknow how to differentiate her wants for herself from her mother’s wants for her.
  3. ‘Colleagues/Managers’.  Here we face competitive, territorial, and complex behaviour.  Female colleagues intentionally hoard information/data that may be crucial to team work and use it to self-promote, or to jeopardise another’s career/position.  Insulting language towards the other’s progress or achievements.  Not allowing a subordinate to grow and achieve.  Power trips.  Passive-aggressiveness.
  4. ‘In-law/Out-law’.  (I can feel the thin ice cracking under me…).  So what’s this one all about? ALL of the ABOVE ANDthen some! It so doesn’t need to be and in many cases isn’t.  There are some amazing in-law relationships where the women unite as feminine power and collectively act in the highest good for their family/families.  I have just thrown this perspective in for good 😉  Territorial, positioning, complexes, hierarchy, secrecy, distrust, some nonsensical customs, interesting traditions, soap-opera drama, conflict between generations, power struggle, possessiveness, etc., etc., etc.

So ‘friends’ we can choose and we can choose when enough is enough.  Colleagues and managers one can withstand to an extent if one has high goals and ambitions and is willing to fight back with intelligence.

What about the family relationships?  These are the most fragile, create the worst insecurities in a person, the deepest pain; creates the risk of distrust, sleepless nights, and much self-destructive and family destructive behaviour.  And this can go from generation to generation consciously and sub-consciously.

What do we call these relationships?  What do we call these women that create such disharmony and discord?  The women that expect another woman to be subservient.  To be a follower.  What solution do we have for them and these relationships?  How does one put an end to this behaviour?

At the risk of sounding flippant and callous as one can argue there’s plenty of deep-seeded issues and can get clinically analytic on these personality types but that’s not my intention for this post and dialogue.  Let’s have some fun with this.


Note:  These are just observations I’m voicing mildly.  I do not speak of any of my personal experiences.  I could probably not name at least one person per category whom I know.  I lie sometimes.  

Note:   women are also instinctively nurturing, promote growth and harmony in the family, socially and in the work force, give unconditional love, protective towards their family units and peers, pillars to lean on, exemplars of inner strength and beauty, amazing organisers, creative, compassionate,  ‘etc., etc., etc.,’…

Note:  I take full responsibility for not being PC…   

Note:  (Boxing gloves are on …)


Self-care and You…

Are you a primary care giver to an elderly parent or a relative?  Are you a parent? Are you smack-in-the-middle of both generations where you find yourself as a primary care giver to a parent/s and your children? Are you a workaholic?  Is your partner a workaholic? Do you hold a demanding professional position where you are devoting so much of yourself and your time to nurture the role, or the organisation?

Whichever role you play, it’s challenging to say the least, especially if you have not struck a balance between looking after them and looking after yourself.

You can get so caught up in the ‘importance’ of the role as a care giver and forget that you are your primary care giver as well.

Society and our respective cultures have conditioned us to believe that looking after oneself is being selfish.  As individuals we all need looking after and by this I don’t mean financially or even physically.  Our inner-self needs love, nurturing, development, spirituality, space, peace.  However we tend to put ourselves in the back seat in this area as we feel that our sole responsibility is to give love, to nurture, to care, to assist another in their growth.

To be in a position to give unselfishly, unconditionally and with pure joy as opposed to performing a ‘duty’, you need to ensure that ‘YOU’ are being well looked after, that your cup is full and over-flowing.  As a care-giver you never want to feel resentful of your role or stagnant no matter how pure it is, e.g. as a parent or as a child.  But… it’s only natural to feel that way and by recognising that you are a person, an individual in a very, very important role, you also need to care for yourself.  No-one but you can do this for you.

So what are the ways in which you can take care of yourself other than the obvious grooming (hair, nails, clothes, etc)? All these are great and the first things we go-to to feel better and up-lifted, but they have a temporary affect.  My personal recommendations for long-term fulfillment and constant feeling of being abundant are:

  1.  Self-development:  Is there something you desire to learn or be other than what you already know and do?  e.g. a particular dance, an instrument, and book you’ve been wanting to read, a subject you are curious about but have no time to research and learn, an exhibition that will enhance you, visiting a new place to experience a new culture, a course.  Making new friends, a new hobby, or a one-time experience of sorts.  I love to listen to podcasts.  There are many that are educational and/or uplifting.  My current favourites are ‘So Money‘ by Farnoush,  ‘Magic Lessons‘ by Elizabeth Gilbert and ‘Make it Happen’ by Swamini Supriyananda.
  2. Keeping physically fit:  not necessarily with a goal of loosing weight or gaining weight.  Just staying active, healthy & fit.  Challenge yourself and try a new activity, have a routine/regime that works for you.  A 30 minute walk 2-3 times a week, a yoga session, zumba, weights, pilates, bootcamp…
  3. Meditation:  start with 5 minutes in a day, either in the morning or at night; at lunch time if you’re lucky.  Try different meditation techniques to see what jives with you, that makes you want to spend that time in the day to do it.  At the moment for me it’s just watching my breathing to see how deep I can breathe in to my core and let out then to breathe in to my 3rd eye.  Meditation can sound very daunting, and I am still working on it myself.  When you do sit still so many thoughts cross your mind and all the things you need to accomplish.  Smile at these thoughts, people, tasks, etc and say – ‘I’ll come back to you’ and let them pass.
  4. Spirituality:  follow your heart and your instincts and let it lead you to a path that resonates with you.
  5. Community Service:  Okay – so now you think I’ve lost the plot.  I’m asking you to ‘give’ again!  Yes I am.  I’m asking you to be a part of a community at large and be part of a bigger picture.  Connect with other people around you and share in something beautiful together.  Being a care-give can be quite lonely.  Community service is a group effort.

So how do you find the time for any of this?  How do you deal with the sense of ‘guilt’ that may arise?

Juggle your schedule and routine.   Wake up a little earlier;  assess your schedule to see if there is something you can let go off, or something that can be delegated.

Explain to your ‘dependents’ that you need some ‘you’ time and you will be back with more to give and with more positive energy to share. Children need to learn from example.  They need to also learn that self-care is important so that they don’t grow up forgetting themselves as well.

Wishing you loads of guilt-less fun on this journey… 🙂





‘Leaving Something for Our Kids…’

Goosebumps all over my arms, my breath held for goodness knows how long, my heart racing and I found a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes.

All this while I was listening to Michelle Obama’s Democratic Convention Speech.  Oh my!  What a woman, what a delivery of such words full of impact.

I was listening to her speech – more focused on the actual words than who they were about.  I was not thinking of Hillary Clinton or the elections.  The words, the emotion, the impact – was about each one of us in our own leadership roles be it at work, at home, social and community organizations, as civilians.

*disclaimer:  I am not representing any political party or individual.  This article is purely inspired by content that can inspire you, me and everyone out there who wants to make a difference.

What do we aspire to be?  Do we want to be regarded as role models for the next generation and generations to come?  We need to carry ourselves in such honourable ways and know that we are ‘leaving something for our kids’.

Let’s look at some of the key phrases she uses and really soak it in.  Can we take some of it or all of it and apply it to our own roles?  You do not need to be a mother or for that matter a parent but just a person in a community who wants to leave a healthy heritage.

MO: “spent decades doing the relentless work to actually make a difference”

That’s a Mother, that’s a CEO, that’s a teacher, that’s a Guru, that’s a Volunteer, that’s all of us.  Everything we do serves a bigger and a higher purpose.

MO:  “when she did not win the nomination eight years ago, she did not get angry or disillusioned”

The game of life is not easy.  There are moments we win there are moments we concede. Some days I’m a winner, some days I’m still running.  But who draws the finish line?  We’ve created it ourselves and get disillusioned by it.  Keep your goal and vision in sight always… and don’t waiver with emotions.  You’ll get there – ‘there’ is ‘where’ you definite it to be.

MO:  “proudly stepped up to serve”

We do as family members no matter where in the hierarchy we are.  We do as team players no matter what our position is.  We do this in our respective communities to serve as a ‘whole’.

MO:  “she never buckles under pressure. She never takes the easy way out.  ….(she)  has never quit on anything in her life”  (‘she’ can be replaced with ‘he’)

Some of us buckle, some of us throw in the towel some of the time.  But most of the time, we get back up and do it all over again, and again, and again…

Something to keep in mind – keep yourself surrounded by great leaders but more than that surround yourself with a great support group who will not let you loose sight of your goals.

MO:  “when you have the nuclear codes at your fingertips and the military in your command, you can’t make snap decisions. You can’t have thin skin or a tendency to lash out. You need to be steady and measured and well-informed.”

As heads of families and organizations,  as members of the community – we hold a lot of power that most of the time we are not aware of .  How we affect the moods of the people around us.  How we can be encouraging or discouraging.  How we can create a positive or negative environment.  How we react to the people around us – calmly or do we lash out?  We underestimate the power we have – but once we become aware of this power – we need to be smart and constructive in how we use it.

MO:  “Someone whose life’s work shows our children that we don’t chase fame and fortune for ourselves; we fight to give everyone a chance to succeed. And we give back even when we are struggling ourselves because we know that there is someone worse off.”

I want to be that someone for me.  For my children.  For the children in my family.  For the children in my community.  Can you be that someone with me?

MO: “we are all created equal, each a beloved part…”

So why do we discriminate?  We are all created equal.  Who are we to judge who’s worthy of our time, our attention, our love, our respect?  We are all a part of the ‘big’ picture.  We ALL make a difference.

MO:  “It is about leaving something better for our kids.”

AMEN!  That’s my bottom line and the reason for why I need to continue to grow.

MO:  “Volunteering to coach the team, teach the Sunday school class, because they know it takes a village.”

A little time spent to enhance our community, to serve our community, to serve the children.

MO:  “Leaders … who show our kids what decency and devotion look like. Leaders… who have the guts and the grace to keep coming back and putting those cracks in the highest and hardest glass ceiling until they finally break through, lifting all of us along with …”

“I want a leader who is worthy of that truth, a leader worthy of my girls’ promise and all of our kids’ promise. A leader who will be guided every day by the love and hope and impossibly big dreams that we all have for our children.”

I want that leader too to inspire me.  I want to be a little or a lot like that leader too to inspire someone..

*thank you Michelle Obama for that fantastic delivery and inspiration*




Do you ‘practice’ Mindfulness?


‘Mindfulness’ has been the ‘buzz’ word for a few years now.  I first got acquainted with it during my pregnancy when a relative of mine who is qualified in ‘Mindful birthing’ coached me.

Now this term is everywhere, in every field, in every aspect of life.  Being ‘Mindful’.

It’s a great, non-religious approach to one getting to know one self.  In this hectic, fast-paced world we live in where we are engaged in so many roles and wearing so many hats, it’s so important to just STOP and OBSERVE our own thoughts and emotions.  One might call this meditation where-in we observe our breathing pattern and our thoughts.  But is it?  Perhaps a form of….?

Okay so I am no yogi and I can not preach on meditation being that I can not even find 10 minutes in the day to sit in silence! My brain just won’t allow it! BUT, now that I am being ‘mindful’, I am doing this 24 hours a day in every activity I engage in, in every conversation I have (be-it after the conversation where I’ve already put my foot in my mouth) or when I’m with the boys (yup… sometimes my ‘full mind’ only engages after I’ve said or done something silly and wished I hadn’t).  I am not being too hard on myself and will actually give myself credit to say that I am putting my all in to being ‘aware’ of myself although some times AFTER an event.

Mindfulness to me is:

Being aware of my thought patterns when I am on my own; when I am in conversation with someone; being aware of my emotions during or after an event that either made me really happy or sad.  Taking the time to think about why I reacted a particular way or why I had a particular thought.  Then thinking what would have happened had I thought or reacted differently. All this without ‘judging’ myself or being ‘critical’.  Just plain observations, then thinking how could I make it different should a situation or person require me to have a different approach.

Being aware of how I spend my time.  Being aware of whose company I thrive in and whose company I get negative emotions in.  Being aware of how I interact or react to my children (boy do I need loads of work on this one!) and while trying to be aware of myself, also being aware – MINDFUL – to other people (family, friends, colleagues, helpers, teachers, contractors, etc. etc. etc…) around me and how we affect each other.  How I react to various successes or failures of my own.

I may have the concept completely wrong but mindfulness to me is getting to know oneself, getting to really know people around me and attempting to make those teeny weeny steps to reaching a ‘better’ me – once again I emphasize – without harsh judgements on myself… but just having fun observing and adapting where necessary.

What is ‘mindfulness’ to you?

I found 6 hours…. and then lost it again!


I found my missing 6 hours in a week and then I lost it again.
So I have to say that I’m pretty good at making lemonade when life hands me lemons.
In fact I get a real high from the process of squeezing these darned lemons to get every bit of juice that I can.

Towards the end of December I started to get this rash all over my torso. I ignored it for a while and just hoped it would disappear back to where it came from. It was a busy Christmas especially entertaining the boys and trying to recover from the very busy quarter.

The rash just kept growing and spreading so as soon as the boys went back to school I booked in to see my GP.  At first glance I was told I had folliculitis and was put on a course of penicillin.
A week later after completing the dose I saw more rash and now massive red scaly patches.
Back to the GP and to hear that it is actually *psoriasis.  I had heard the term before but had no idea what it meant.

I was then referred to a dermatologist who prescribed 25-30 UVB Light treatments!
The first question my GP as well as my dermatologist asked me was ‘Are you stressed?’
Aren’t we all to some degree? I said perhaps I over did it last quarter balancing work, home and the boys’ activities but I don’t feel stressed. It’s life, I’m handling it.

While I was relieved to not have to take any medication, I was a bit annoyed that I needed to go 3 times a week for this light treatment to a clinic that was 45 mins away from home.  Which mother of toddlers has the time to get an annoying ‘condition’ to deal with for crying out loud!?!  Was I stressed then??   Yes! I did not have 1.5 hours + treatment time ranging from 2-15 minutes each x 3 times a week!
How could I possibly de-stress myself now??

A good friend heard me whining one day after a couple of weeks of treatment. I was whining about how I now have to spend 6 hours a week on treatment – 6 hours I already didn’t have. And she said, ‘you have just found 6 hours you didn’t have!’
I wasn’t sure what that meant initially.

I chose to take the bus (no driving and parking stress involved) to my treatments – 45 minutes each way. I caught up on work calls, social messages, coordinated my boys’ birthday parties, listened to inspiring podcasts and even began my first audio book on being a ‘conscious parent ‘ . This was ‘MY‘ time! I had found 6 hours I didn’t have and it was for me. Forced as it may have been but I would not have had that opportunity otherwise.

Now for regular commuters this may not seem special but I hope you get my drift on making the best of a situation.

During my treatments I also had a chat with an Ayurvedic doctor who also had to hear me moan about how I was ‘loosing‘ time I already didn’t have when he advised me to ‘de-stress!’
He just said to me, ‘embrace it‘.
And I did. And I enjoyed that ‘me‘ time.
7 weeks later, treatments done, psoriasis healed for now and I have just lost my lovely 6 hours that I had found in that time. I’m back to the pressure of making every minute be productive getting caught back up in the rat race of life. The treatments had slowed me down to take a breath.
My take-aways  from this incident: embrace the situation & look at the bright side.
Just with these two learnings I experienced a ‘shift‘ in my perception of the situation and was more in control of it where I made it work for me.
* As for the psoriasis please feel free to ask anything you would like to know. I will also be sharing some experiences with it in due time. 





Not too long ago my husband and his sister enlightened me on YOLO and FOMO.  I am so sure I am the only person who was not familiar with these acronyms but just so as no to sell my self short and have you MO (Miss Out) – (You Only Live Once -YOLO), (Fear of Missing Out – FOMO)… and JOMO – will unfold below.

Google on FOMO:  ‘anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.’

The Urban Dictionary on JOMO:  ‘Joy of Missing Out: You’re enjoying what you’re doing in the here and now and not on social media broadcasting or seeing what everybody else is doing. Opposite of fomo or the fear of missing out.’
FOMO (1)

I have to admit to being surprised that terminology like this actually existed – worse than that – the mindset existed so predominantly to then create these terms.  I did not get what people were MO-ing out on… I surely did not feel like I was MO-ing on anything and that because of YOLO you need to die hard.  ??  Seriously??  Social media has done wonders for the world and businesses…. but…. it’s really created a whole new set of insecurities and negatively impacted relationships.

Okay – so I’m not judging but I really didn’t get it.  So… I took stock… feeling insecure for 10 seconds that there’s perhaps things out there or people out there that I am missing out on.  What could it be?? What am I missing out on other than sleep??

So my inventory told me:

  1. Blessed with great family.  May they always be blessed.
  2. Blessed with great friends.  May they always be blessed.
  3. Blessed with good health.  By God’s Grace.
  4. Blessed with a great community and a network of like minds.
  5. Blessed with a roof over my head. By God’s and my Family’s Grace.
  6. Blessed with good food so much so that I need to shed some of it. Ditto.
  7. Blessed with a job that keeps me busy and so out of FOMO.
  8. Hair dresser. Check.
  9. Manicurist.  Check.
  10. Beauty Salon.  Check.
  11. Car.  Check.
  12. Community events.  Check.
  13. Social events.  Check.
  14. The Arts. Check.
  15. Education.  Check.
  16. Travel & adventure.  Check.
  17. A stack of books needing to be read.  Check.
  18. Local coffee shops and pubs to have a good girlie catch up.  Check.
  19. Profile on Twitter, FaceBook, etc. Check.
  20. Tons of group chats on WhatsApp.  Check.
  21. Full calendar just balancing this all out.  Check. Check. Check.
  22. etc.. etc.. etc.. (In the words of Yule Bryner in ‘The King and I’)

Nope.  Could not find what I was missing out on.  And so I could not relate.  Am I square?

The next day I asked a friend (very naive of me) if she was familiar with these acronyms…and she said this…’There’s a new one! JOMO!’

Oh no!  I’m really out of it.  I’m so not cool.  I so don’t speak today’s ‘lingo’.  Some cool mum I’ve set out to be!  I surrender… ‘Okay, and that stands for?’

‘Joy of Missing Out’

My eyes brightened and I yelled, ‘That’s me!!! I’m JOMO!!  I love missing out on what I’m not sure I’m missing out on, and so I don’t know what I’m missing out on, which makes me very Happy missing it all!!! I’m SO JOMO! Now I can relate to a cool title!’

On Saturday night, I related this conversation to another friend who probably thought I was slightly loosing the plot.

And today…. I read this fab post by Shweta Bachchan Nanda…. and I don’t feel so all alone any more in my world of JOMO.  🙂  I’m sure you’ll have a few chuckles as I did.

Shweta Bachchan Nanda – Jomo Trumps Fomo